Immersed in the bathtub my mind wandered. I was bombarded with noisy thoughts vying for attention. This confused me; my ideas weren’t usually that urgent. The bath seemed a suitable shelter; I thought that bodily sensation might cure mental activity as it often does. Much to my dismay I found myself lost in introspection. As the water warmed my skin I thought of death. Originally, I thought of life, but as it were that soon died. Now I did not deserve to be miserable, but I could not help it. Perhaps, miserable is the wrong word. It is tradition to view death as a bad end, but I prefer to see it as the only end. To make death evil is to deny it. To deny it is stupid. It occurred to me that when I die, despite my lack faith, I might be called to judgement. I considered judgement and realised that with no allegiance to any religion I might escape by denying it. I imagined myself in Gods court, under trial. I would stand up bravely; I would politely, but firmly decline heaven or hell and take control of my own afterlife.
It occurred to me that as master of my destiny and being an authority to challenge God that I would need some post-life occupation to fill the millennia. It seemed only natural to create a new world. Therefore I worked solidly for a week to get a planet finished. It is well documented that a week is a fitting time for creation. I littered this world with a spectacular array of life and beauty and lavished my love upon it. After a while I grew bored and took to playing with my creations. I would fool and scare them. Create disasters to confound them and miracles to amaze. I was cruel and kind, indifferent in my humour from day to day. But as time passed my folly began to show. I had sown seeds that would reap change and difficulty in my world. Unaware of my nature, the people worshipped and feared me for many years. However, I began to notice that some began to hate, resent and eventually forget me, which made me angry at their ingratitude. Some set out to damage my creation and soon it was lost from my control. I cried as I watched it decay under the rule of idiots and tyrants and tyrannical idiots until one awful day they took to killing in earnest. Of course death was no stranger, but never before had it been so close a friend. I had enough and brought about the end of time. Out of curiosity, I decided to survey the souls, hoping to find my mistake and pass some time.
Many souls bowed down to me in respectful fear and in hope of forgiveness, which I gave readily, as it was of little consequence. I must admit punishing some who irritated me grievously, as I have previously stated there is a cruel side to my nature. At last I had seen all but one and was growing weary. The last man stood before me and I saw my own face.