Letter the first

Dear sir / madam

I thoroughly enjoyed reading of you manuscript / poem / play / article / story and felt that the use of metaphor / description / dialogue / verve / words showed true spirit / imagination / ability / fire  / guts.  However, it is my most unpleasant duty to inform you that despite all this we will be unable to use the piece in our magazine due to editorial / creative / liable reasons.  We also feel you may benefit from further developing your spirit / imagination / ability / fire  / guts, but do not be disheartened and please continue to submit your drivel / ravings / witless ranting, which will no doubt eventually earn you the respect / esteem / tolerance of your peers / your audience / a small dead sparrow.

your sincerely

Roy Smith


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About Roy Smith

Roy Smith lives in the Medway Towns, where he works with young people and spends a lot of time writing nonsense and enjoying himself. Most of his writing happens at night and other inconvenient moments, when he is regularly interrupted by his dog and the desire to play old video games.

2 responses to “Letter the first”

  1. Robbie says :

    A fantastic start! Really sets the mood and make me LOL

    I look forward to reading more 🙂

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