number nine

Dear sir

Thank you for your submission, having read through your manuscript I feel duty bound to raise a number of points.  Your description of the fire at Applegate Farm was masterfully done, I could feel the heat from the page and the grief of the farmers daughter was incredibly moving.  The death of the animals was deeply upsetting, but managed with sensitivity, leaving the reader in a state of shock and moral ambiguity.  I wasn’t sure about Billy as a character, some of his urban dialogue seemed out of place in the rural setting, however you described his love affair with Mrs Brock beautifully, I particularly enjoyed the chapter they shared by the river bank and though I was a bit confused by the drive by shooting at the end of this section I stayed with the narrative.  Overall I found the novel to be an exciting roller-coaster ride that gripped me as a reader, despite some of its more confusing points.  I do, however, have to ask why you feel it is appropriate for ‘Fun time on Applegate Farm’ to be published as a picture book for primary schools and am unsure whether the ‘parental advisory’ tag goes far enough to warn of its graphic content.  So sorry, but its a no.

Yours sincerely

Fun time readers


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