nineteenth breakdown

I read your earlier work with interest.  It seemed to have something of promise about it that is sadly lacking from your latest endeavours.  You held a clear narrative style that engaged the reader in a way that left them wanting more.  Unfortunately this piece gives more of less, taking from what you had and leaving little worth keeping.  I found myself immersed in predictable nonsense hardly worthy of your time and effort; the damage was such that the few moments of brilliance only highlighted the sorry state of the whole, leaving the reader at best unsatisfied.  I realise this is only the taster chapter and that it may seem unfair to judge so early, but at the moment it still feels wrong and I can only recommend some heavy editing.


2 responses to “nineteenth breakdown”

  1. sarah says :

    Wow did u make that up? I’m not submitting anything if they r that nasty! Simon Cowell eat ur heart out!

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