This is my third attempt to pen this missive, I fear the technology is infected by some impish mischief. I write with greatest respect for your work and magnificent efforts. Please, before reading this letter, I ask only that you consider my words as those of kindness sent deeply to a person I hold in uppermost esteem and want only for the advancement of your glorious self. When I first sat by my fireplace on that cold November evening, it was with a sense of awe and amazement that I perused the pages and was filled with joy at having received such a timely contribution to our cannon. The subtlety of your prose, your elegant use of superfluous adjectives, the way you underlined whole passages in bold for emphasis, all produced an atmosphere I cannot compare. I was particularly fond of your repeated references to Hollywood movies that showed your engagement with culture in a way that could never be accused of plagiarism. Yet sadly we must say no, as on this occasion we have been sent such a bounty of such literary adventures that we have decided to keep none of it. Correct, this leaves us without a publication for December, but I fear it is the only way to make a fair selection. We wish you the best in all your future endeavours and hope you understand why we leave our pages blank for now.
(commissioned by his satanic majesties department for the quality assurance of torturous fandangoes. ” Transporto nos vestri consilium quod nos mos eat vestri liberi.”)