49

Are you still here? I’m mean, that shows either persistence or stupidity, you must enjoy it or something. After all this time, I had hoped you would take the hint, but it seems that you are oblivious to the harm you are causing me, literary culture and to anyone unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse of you ridiculous prose. Last week one of your titles caused a knife fight between two of my most favored employees and after I cleaned away the blood and prized the metal from their shaking hands, I realized that neither possessed any verbal means of communications. You robbed them of words. Not only are you so bad you cause fights, you somehow absorb the limited abilities of others. You are a black hole, sucking words and meaning from all those about you, and something must be done. I have decided that the only way to deal with your menace is to rub you out. For this purpose, I have crafted an eraser of such sophistication that it’s mark of HB, can only warn at the trouble it will cause you. It is mounted upon a 6 foot pencil, sharpened to a razor point that will pierce at the heart of your errors and cross through your hateful mistakes. My only fear is that in the struggle you may wrest this instrument of power from my arms and use it against me, to produce yet more ghastly crimes.

Ed

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