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Unfinished + Short Encounters + Zombie Filming

Its going to be a busy month, I’ve not had much time to write new material recently due to writing my dissertation, but hope to get a lot more active from December. Have had a really inspiring day at Rochester Lit Fest’s ‘Unfinished’ event. Brilliant event and great to talk to other bloggers from all sorts of backgrounds – including creatives, political and lifestyle writers. Also enjoyed reading some pieces as part of the Basement Gothic and chat about all those little problems that prevent us from getting stuff finished, as well as getting insight into how people get round those problems or turn them to their advantage. Its always reassuring to know your not struggling alone.

Anyway, here’s two things that are coming up that might be of interest to some of you…

Zombie Filming at the Lines

From 1pm on Sunday 28th October, some of the guys from Cinovice and I are teaming up to film scenes for a short Zombie film on the Great Lines in Gillingham. We’ll be meeting opposite the leisure centre and will be finished no later than 5pm. If anyone is interested, join the Facebook page by following this link We will be the ones dressed like Zombies.

Short Encounters

On Wednesday 31st October join us at the Dot Cafe for an evening of sci-fi and horror short stories from local writers, inspired by the Medway Towns. Featuring some peculiar FX, ‘The Sci-Fi Soundboard, Short Improv Challenge’ plus an extra special tin-foil hat making competition. Please let me know if you are interested in reading or taking part in the improv. Join the Facebook group HERE

Enjoy yourselves



Searching for Sci-Fi Art and Music from or inspired by the Medway Towns

I am putting together the podcasts for ‘Short Encounters‘, a collection of Medway inspired Science Fiction stories from local Writers via ME4 Writers.  If anyone has got any Art work or photos they would like to contribute to the accompanying booklet OR any Music (ambient background sounds or appropriate tunes that I could put between or after the stories) and would like to get involved, please let me know.

Please note that this is a labour of love and completely devoid of any financial benefit to anyone (especially me ;-> )  I will credit any work contributed and hope that by working with a lot of other people, everyone involved gets to reach audiences they might not otherwise.

If you are interested or have any questions, please email me on: or on twitter @roy_smith –  Please share this with anyone who you think might like to know about it.



Laziness, apathy and the resurgence of brilliance

I have been having a lull.  A time of low productivity in creative spheres that is about to come to a crashing end.  I could blame my MA or general business and skulk around with a disheartened frown, but truth be told this is a traditional behaviour, caused by a tiny parasite that lives on the misfired neurons somewhere in my mind.

I picked up this bug after spending far too much time watching television and scrolling through pointless twitter updates.  Thats right, this was a MTD, a media transmitted disease – (although I think the appropriate term is infections)  Fortunately, I have booked myself into a mind clinic to have this thing removed once and for all.  Apparently it is a simple procedure that involves removing a section of my skull the size of a shoe and running a metal comb through my parietal lobe.  This will apparently either untangle the idea sucking mites from gray matters or kill me outright.

In the mean time, having noticed a recent surge of interest in my blog (three new subscribers in a week!!!)  May I direct you to for a piece of old…

and unveil…

In Which…

Everything is wrong with something, so there must be a better way of doing it? I plan to right our lazy obsession with failure by striving for perfection, the future needs dreams of better solutions…alright, some of them might be a little…tricky, but it’s got to be worth a go.

This weekly blog, will create work arounds, solutions and alternatives to the general rubbishy problems we face in the day to day rumble. The will never be restricted to the achievable, likely or mundane. This is future dreaming. This is Utopical.

Your problems are welcome for the solving, please bare in mind I specialise in minor problems, but will work up to world peace…need something solving? Then let me know, whether stone in your shoe, can’t get out of bed in the morning, forgotten the name of your bosses imaginary friend? I probably can’t help, but I can certainly give you some advice that is probably best avoided at:


Standing just behind me, breathing excitement with eyes full of wonder and curiosity. Dallying in a flowerbed or sniffing at some post or rock. She is there. Snoring by the radiator or dancing on her side, chasing invisible prey and waking with a surprised look. Following each piece of food with a longing gaze or barking at nothing and for no reason. She is there. Held close when things are hard and full of love for who we are. Expecting no more than a gentle breeze, some food and a bit of attention. She is there. Whether wrestling with a young one or engaged in polite ‘hellos’, meeting and sharing the day. Standing close beside us, to keep us safe from harm. She is there.

She is always there and though we might not always see; our shadow will never really leave.


Keisha, January 19th 2012 xxx

Waiting for Charlie – (part of the low expectation project)

This was written as part of the low expectation project, taking minor characters from Dickens and giving them a little bit more to do…

(Two soldiers are walking along a path through the marshes. Mist is reducing visibility considerably, their boots are covered in mud and neither looks too happy.)

Sidney Where the blazes have they got to?

Earnest(Shrugs and makes an unintelligible noise.)

Sidney We should be back at fire side, with a little brew….this tramping is no good for my legs.

Earnest You said go left, and that’s what we did sir…(mumbles) and if you kept up it’d do you no harm either.

Sidney What’s that boy?

Earnest Nothing sir…it is a fair long way and no denying.

Sidney You’re not wrong their lad…not wrong at all…but for this fog we’d be away in no time…

Earnest(mumbles) but for this fool, I’d be in bed by much sooner…

Sidney Are you cheeking me boy?

Earnest Wouldn’t dream of it sir…

Sidney Good…

Earnest Sir?

Sidney Yes.

Earnest These men…

Sidney The brigands?

Earnest That’s them…

Sidney Well?

Earnest Well…what have they done? I mean, I know they’re terrible bad men, but what is it they did to get in one them there hulks?

Sidney Ahh, it is a long sad story and that I’m sure…but don’t mistake they would not be there, excepting those terrible deeds.

Earnest …but sir

Sidney Mmmmmm

Earnest What was those terrible deeds what got them all locked up and all?

Sidney mmmmnn…I’m not sure how that’s the business of the likes of you and I, my boy…they did bad things, awful things…most terrible things…

Earnest yeah, but what things…

Sidney(getting flustered) Look here boy, I don’t care a king’s farthing what things it is they did, all I know is that those things, what that they did, are most terrible things to do and that it is them that did them. And that the likes of you and I have no business to be asking. We are for the finding and the taking and that is all.

Earnest but..

Sidney What…

Earnest Nothing.

Sidney Go on now…you’ve got me this far in your damn silly

questions I’ll have no peace inside me ’til you’ve gotten it out…you were the same about that cat…

Earnest Well, if we are sent to find and take, as you rightly say, then how do we know what it is we hope to find if we know nothing of the cause.

Sidney The cause….the cause? Have you not listened to me one bit? The terrible things is the cause, and no mistaking.

Earnest But what if those things, so terrible as to keep them locked on such hulks, were no more right or wrong than say…a trifle…

Sidney Oh, don’t speak me of trifle. You torture my belly so? How can it be a trifle?

Earnest I dunno, I once heard a man was hanged for bread.

Sidney Bread? Bread in your ears my boy…they hang ’til dead, you cloth eared fool.

Earnest I swear he stole some bread and was hanged for it.

Sidney Well there you go my boy, you say he stole, and rightly so, he likely got his just desserts….terrible things I say, terrible things…

Earnest It seems a bit…

Sidney If a man stole my bread, he’d soon know what terrible meant.

Earnest Suppose, but….hey look up ahead….is that?

Sidney That’s a gibbet and no mistaking…you’ve been training your eyes or maybe this talk of things has made your neck close to the rope.

Earnest How can talk of things make me bad?

Sidney It’s talk that sends you to him, no doubt.

Earnest But I ain’t done no wrong.

Sidney Sure, I would hope you’ve not, but that head of yours will end in trouble if you keep thinking sideways and the like.

Earnest Look, the path goes off in two ways again and right off there it is, the river.

Sidney And full of mud it’ll ever be.

Earnest So, which way then?

Sidney(He licks his finger and holds it in the air)

Earnest What you doing?

Sidney I’m getting the feel of it.

Earnest But how will the wind get us where we need to go?

Sidney The wind knows, boy. The wind knows.

Earnest What? How can the wind know?

Sidney Trust me son, the wind knows. It’s blown right along with us, from hill and down and now its saying that way’s right.

Earnest The left path?

Sidney Right, the left path.

Earnest But if the wind knows the way then how did we get lost in the first place?

Sidney There are mysteries my boy, mysteries not meant for you and me.

Earnest I don’t think the way we walk is any mystery, we go left or right and there’s the river. How can it be left, it we are at the river?

Sidney The wind says..

Earnest But Sir, we walked towards the river when we came, and come so far left we cannot go much more or will be where we started…

Sidney The wind never failed me yet.

Earnest Then the wind is as lost as us.

Sidney Then what say you…right, I suppose?

Earnest Why not, we keep going left, surely right would be the way to go?

Sidney My poor boy, the fog has got you simple. If left we have walked for such a time then once right will take us nowhere.

Earnest But this ain’t the same right as where we went left, it is another and maybe this right is where we’re wanting…

Sidney But the wind…

Earnest(Angry, then surprised at himself) Will you shut up about the damned wind!

Sidney(Hostile, but calm) ….How dare you talk to me in such a tone, I will not have such talk from a boy like you.

I said you were for the bad.

Earnest I can’t do it…I’ll walk in circles all night long if you have it your way.

Sidney Nonsense man, pull yourself together

Earnest No, I won’t do it. Not no more sir. It makes no sense.

Sidney Calm yourself

Earnest I’m going

Sidney(Chuckling) Where to, the right?

Earnest The left, the right be damned. The river can take me!

Sidney The river?

Earnest(In jest – mimicking Sidney) I see the river, hear it too, and that smells its making. So by that thinking it’s the only way.

Sidney Right you are boy…right you are..

Earnest What?

Sidney You make an excellent case, can’t fault you there.

Earnest(Uncertain) Then, to the river?

Sidney The river, yes…you make some sense with what you say, by Jove I think you’re learning.

(They walk off into the river, Sidney grinning ear to ear and Earnest in petrified dismay.)

Post nude @ the horsebridge

Nikki has some wonderful photo’s on display at the Horsebridge centre in Whitstable of this sort and we saw they were asking for some written nudes…I gave it a try and here are a couple of the drafts…the ones I sent are slightly prettier…but not much 😉

Check out Post Nude at the Horsebridge from now to the 31st May – have fun, be nude!!!

The rules of weather news – SNOW

Day one – Blimey, its snowing…joyful images of children playing, idillic shots of fields and trees, framed in delicate flurries of white crystal…maybe some cutesy pics of pets getting up to mischief or someone skiing to the local shop. General mood – Ahhhh, SNOWDAY!!!

Day two – Crisis, panic, danger!!! Cars wheels spinning and skidding erratically or abandoned in unsuitable places, displaying smashed headlights and crumpled bumpers. General mood – don’t leave you house, be afraid – beware the killer snow!!!

Day three – Bloody inconvenient this white stuff – The whining starts, a collections of axe grinders are wheeled on, usually outside closed schools or train stations, to moan about how we should all get some back bone and get back to work in direct contradiction with the message from day two. Someone will offer unhelpfully confusing statistics on the cost to the economy. There will be finger wagging and a story of hope will tell of how some heroic idiot has walked 2000 miles to work despite the conditions and his lack of shoes only to find it was his day off. General mood – Bah humbug…lazy bloody…grrrrrrrrrr

Day four – The clean up…cars are dragged from ditches or recovered by business men in improvised snow shoes, as it all starts to thaw anyway and everything starts to get back to normal. Politicians discuss accusations about the lack of salt, stealing salt, the wrong kind of salt, too much salt and the unequal distribution of salt ad infinitum, much to the pleasure of Mr Saxo, who counts his profits and drives off in his golden jeep. General mood – Meh, bored now

These rules must be followed by all weather news reports about snow…a suggestion, why not record a two hour special, covering all the angles and show it every time its snows, apart from slight changes in cloths and hair, the differences would be undetectable.